Monday, March 28, 2011
I need to practice what I preach! (or maybe not)
I've always said that letting your kids sleep with you is not a good thing. For more than one reason. And up until now I've stood by that. Up until now. And now that I've discovered the only way I'll get any good sleep at night is to let Evan sleep with us? I've changed my mind. Evan is back to not sleeping very well. It can be very frustrating most of the time because we've been dealing with sleepless nights for 18 months. That makes for a tired mommy. And when mommy is tired she can get a little cranky =) I'm not sure how to get Evan to sleep better. I don't want to let him cry-it-out because that takes FOREVER and he can get pretty loud when's he's mad. AND he's sharing a room with Katie. So...I bring him to our bed and let him sleep with us. Not sure why, but he sleeps so much better in our bed. I've always said I would never co-sleep with any of my kids because I didn't want to be 'that' parent. Well, I guess I am now that parent. But, here's the deal. As frutrated as I might get when it's 3 a.m. and Evan is being noisy I have to remind myself that at least he's here. So many couples have a hard time becoming parents to begin with and I've been blessed with 4 beautiful, healthy children. And then I start to think of my friends that have had to bury babies before they even got to bring them home. Or the families that get only a very short time with their babes. After thoughts like that I am very willing to change my way of doing things and let Evan sleep with me. So, I will no longer tell moms that co-sleeping might be a bad idea. Evan is big enough now that I am not worried about rolling over on him. And he sleeps between Aaron and I so he won't fall out of bed. AND...I don't bring him to our bed until I have tried for a while to have him sleep in his bed. That means I give up around 3 a.m. I still wish he would sleep all night ion his own bed. But if that's not how it's going to go down, then I'm going to enjoy snuggling my youngest. It won't always be like this.
Monday, March 14, 2011
A reminder for myself
My mother-in-law sent me something a while back. She wanted to encourage me(and her other daughters-in-law) in the parenting of our children. It's been a great reminder to me so I thought I would share. I'm not sure where it came from so we'll just say anonymous.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking,"Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask,'What time is it?' I'm a satelitte guide to answer,'What number is the Disney channel?' I'm a car to order,'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; Where's my other sock?'Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, sh'e gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabuloustrip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said,'I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.
I wasn't exactly sure why she had given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I read-no, devoured-the book. And I discovered what became for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals-wehave no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifics and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,"Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered be the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied,"Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing pieces falling into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,"I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequine you've sewnon, no cupcake yo0u've baked, no cub scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder, As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I reall think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving,'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say,' You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we are doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
THE WILL OF GOD WILL NOT TAKE YOU WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD CANNOT PROTECT YOU.
For every mother that reads this, please remember that no job is more important than investing in the lives of your children.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking,"Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask,'What time is it?' I'm a satelitte guide to answer,'What number is the Disney channel?' I'm a car to order,'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; Where's my other sock?'Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, sh'e gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabuloustrip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said,'I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.
I wasn't exactly sure why she had given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I read-no, devoured-the book. And I discovered what became for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals-wehave no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifics and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,"Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered be the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied,"Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing pieces falling into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,"I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequine you've sewnon, no cupcake yo0u've baked, no cub scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder, As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I reall think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving,'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say,' You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we are doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
THE WILL OF GOD WILL NOT TAKE YOU WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD CANNOT PROTECT YOU.
For every mother that reads this, please remember that no job is more important than investing in the lives of your children.
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